Mountain View - Happy Valentines Day By Paula Friedrichsen

Writer Author  Church On The Mountain
Christian Column : Holidays  - Fiction  No

Christian Author Writer Ah Valentines Day… the day of romance, love, and appreciation, right?

Well… it should be. But in all reality Valentines Day has become just another commercialized bonanza of buying. The media fosters unrealistic expectations when it comes to the way men and women express their love on Valentines Day. Watch a few dozen Zales commercials and you’ll likely be anticipating a candlelit dinner where hubby drops a diamond solitaire into your champagne glass… Or, check out enough FTD ads and you may find yourself waiting breathlessly by the front door to see if a lavish floral arrangement will soon be delivered.

Those things are nice, but romance doesn’t flourish because you max out your credit card. Romance flourishes when you open your eyes to the greatness of your mate…just as they are today. For example, men on commercials do things like light candles and fill bubble baths for their wives, while regular guys show they care by paying the medical insurance on time or checking the oil in the car before a big trip. Not necessarily romantic—but lovable all the same.

Women on television are portrayed as desperately sexy housewives, or scantily-clad stick figures with high powered careers. But the truth is most women can be found doing things like nursing the baby in two-day old clothing that smells of “spit up,” raising a gaggle of kids while fighting to lose those last thirty pounds, and working 9 to 5 jobs. Not perfect, but perfectly wonderful.

Adjusting your expectations to line up with reality will foster a happy union and help you enjoy your mate. This Valentines Day commit that you’re going to love and appreciate your mate just as they are today…..even if they’re completely different than you. We’ve all heard the saying “opposites attract,” but I’ve found sometimes that “opposites attack.” The personality traits and adorable quirks that initially attracted you to your spouse can be the very qualities that are now driving you crazy.

Around our house we refer to my husband Jeff as “Felix Unger” (the neat one from that old show The Odd Couple). Sometimes as I do the dishes I can feel his eyes on my back…watching me. He watches me load the dishwasher and wants to give me a little instruction. He watches me wipe off the counters and would like to give me efficiency tips. He watches me put food scraps down the garbage disposal and can hardly refrain from offering suggestions.

And although his perfectionist personality has at times driven me crazy and caused occasional conflict around our house, I’ve learned to laugh at his quirks and to appreciate the fact Jeff likes to keep things neat.

Think of appreciation as “warmth to roses.” When roses are exposed to a little natural sunlight and warmth, they begin to open with glory. Appreciation is the warmth that will cause your spouses personality and true self to bloom. When was the last time you noticed out loud something your mate did right?

It’s true that relationships can be challenging at times—but they can also be fulfilling, comforting, and joyous. If we want to enjoy our marriages it’s important to keep our sense of humor intact and our minds focused on our mate’s good qualities. Overlooking another’s faults means to literally “look over the top” of the faults to see the person you love standing on the other side. You love your spouse. You don’t love their faults—but you do love them. Remind yourself of all their wonderful qualities and get busy having a wonderful Valentines Day!

Paula Friedrichsen is a member of Church on the Mountain, a vibrant community of believers in Crowley Lake. We meet at 9:30 Sunday mornings. Call for more information: 935-4272 or

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Country: United States
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